Almost Twelve

We’re in a shady bar. Dimmed music and silent light. At one side we look out over a river, on the other there’s a busy city.f

A nearby church’s bell will almost let us know it’s midnight. Our knees are  close to touching, but not quite yet, we aren’t comfortable enough yet for that, not yet. My eyes are aimed for yours while you talk, hands tightly wrapped around a steaming cup of tea.

While my eyes are digging into yours, a future is pictured, just for a little while.

Fading. Slowly. Empty.




Hand op een raam

Een warme hand tegen koud raam. Jouw warme hand tegen mijn koude rug. Twee blikken die naar buiten zijn gericht. Traag slik ik eens.

Stilte weergalmt in de kamer, luid als water dat eindelijk de bodem van de waterval raakt.

De druk van je hand verdwijnt. Traag. Voorzichtig. Servies in een kast zetten, goed kijken zodat het toch niet breekt.

Ik breek wel.

Snel, een hand. De druk. Je probeert het servies terug in de kast te duwen. Je maakt het erger. Links en rechts vallen nu dingen van je hand.

Domino. Er worden dingen meegesleurd de afgrond in. Mijn hoofd valt tegen het koude raam, onder mijn neus verschijnt een dampcirkel.

Druk op mijn rug verdwijnt weer. Opgegeven. Hopeloos.



Sailing Ship

It was the middle of the night, the middle of the sea. Our ship slowly sails towards our destination, on top of the calm waves, a soft breeze blowing us away. My eyes lock on the last burning candle in my room, the image slowly becoming blurry while my eyes fall closed.

A loud crack, footsteps on the wooden floor. Without hesitation I open my eyes and I see you sitting there. Wearing your most beautiful dress, your golden juwelry and a smile lingering on your lips.

My eyes close, I blink, you’re still there. This is against all my expectations, but I don’t mind. Slowly you stand up, your knees crack, you smile a bit brighter and sit next to me on the bed. Quickly I sit up, once more trying to speak.

You eye me and shake your head, placing your forefinger on your lips, running your other hand through my short hair. It feels better than I remembered.

You lean down.

A boat for two

A green lake in the middle of a green forest, surrounded by green lilly pads and green grass. The boat itself is half green, even. A weeping willow stands at the side of the river, bending over the water, looking at its own reflection. Slowly I put two feet in the wobbling boat.

“Just take it easy” you say, in the comforting way you always do. Ever so gently, as if scared to hurt my feelings, almost as if they’re made out of crystal. I smile. Knowing you only say this because you care.

Grunt. Smack. Step. Stumble. Grabbing. Stabilize! I repeat: stabilize! After a split second I find my balance and quickly go to sit down.

Jump. Smack. Step. Sit. “It’s that easy?” I ask, smiling softly towards you. A wink. Two paddles go into the water as the boat takes off, in the direction of the weeping willow. Slowly daring to turn, making sure I don’t fall in the water, I look around. I tell you I think it’s beautiful and you agree with that.